So, you are a guy. You get PAID to choose the number one – hottest girl in the world. Apparently, the Maxim guy was hung-over, and he chose….. Lindsay Lohan? Hmmm….. She’s not that hot. Maybe TOP 1000, but not 100.
I still can’t believe it! I waited a week to post, just because I thought there would be a world-wide outcry to remove Linsay ‘Eat Something’Lohan from the top spot for ’07. Alas, it did not happen. I’m not even as upset that this bone-head guy picked some Internet cartoon for the list – #95, The ‘Avatar’ of Second Life. Why pick a cartoon?
MAXIM TOP 10 HOTTEST GIRLS – 2007
1. Lindsay Lohan – HA! Nada.
2. Jessica Alba – Sure
3. Scarlett Johansson – OK
4. Christina Aguilera – Um, ok
5. Jessica Biel – Yes!
6. Ali Larter – Who?
7. Eva Mendez – Yes!
8. Rihanna – Yes!
9. Eva Longoria – Old, but sure!
10. Fergie – Too much working on her fitness.
Well, this bearded bear, has created my own list of the world’s hottest girls. I’m only going to list 10: (feel free to click on for bigger picture. If you dare).
BEARDED BEAR TOP 10 HOTTEST GIRLS:
1) Miss Cardinal 2007. Our #1 this year is your typical Cardinal Fan Hottie! This delicate flower hails from the Gateway city. She enjoys putting ribbons in her hair and cheering for the Cardinal player she’s dating that week. Cardinal players have good taste in women.
2) Employed Girl – The works hard for the money. So hard for the money. Strutting in high-heels is her thang! Favorite movie is Pretty Woman.
Non taxable income – bonus!
3) Quiet Girl – The quietest girl alive! This special lady is known for not wanting to know how your day was, wondering what time you’ll be home, and NEVER wonders when the bedroom will be painted. Can you say low maintenance?
I – NEVER – COMPLAIN!
4) Gary’s 2008 New Years Dream Date! We found #4 at 2 PM on a Tuesday afternoon at Buffalo Wild Wings in East Peoria. Apparently everyday is her 21st birthday. NOTE: She met a similar minded fellow in East Peoria on match.com. His hobbies included staying on bar toilets for extended periods of time. Prediction? July wedding for these two love birds.
5) Big Girls don’t Cry! Ber-chicky-ber-ber! This chick is not only tall, but, useful for many household chores. Including painting ceilings without a ladder. Downside – Don’t piss her off! YES MA’AM!
T-I-I-I-I-IMBER!
6) Miss Syria. The Burka says ‘all business’, but get a few Miller’s in Ayishah and it’s PARTY like it’s 1450 BC! She hails from Afganistan, but, enjoys US luxuries such as Soap, Electricity and Water. Plus side, she’ll think a washing machine for her birthday is peachy keen.
Wink Wink big shooter.
7) Queen Latifah. This one is for nick. Watch your wallet – hommie. After watching Taxi on TNT the other day, I had a new respect for this former rap star. Her performance with Jimmy Fallon brought a tear to this Bearded Bear’s eye. Go get ’em momma!
Huffing gold paint makes me dance better
8.) Boy George. Comma Comma Comma Comma Chameleon. Patty – look out. Heard he’s playing ICC this week! He slipped onto the list becuase he’s kind of a chick. Look for a silver Toyota Solara purusing the streets of East Peoria. Then stick your head inside the car to hear Boy Georges greatest hits!
9) Miss Colts Fan. Do you wax, or just like, shave that? Go Colts! She also enjoys the Brickyard 500, the Indy 500, and any other motorsports popular in the ‘Circle City’. Find her at any Dollar Store in the Beach Grove area.
Who needs beer on Sunday?
10) The Gieco Caveman. RAAAAAAAR!
Well – he’s not my style, but, I know Brabson likes him. Not much else to say. He’s got one helluva beard, so, I guess that counts for something!
Ultimate Bearded Bear
Bear's Beards in Peoria 