Category Archives: Breaking News
GETTING READY FOR THE SHOWDOWN SATURDAY AGAINST MISHITGAN!! GO IRISH!
Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
(Reaaaaal Men Of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional Michigan Fan
(Mr. Delusional Michigan Faaaaaan!)
Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high preseason ranking
(clutching at straws!)
Season after season, year after year, you scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Wolverines lose to a grossly inferior opponent
(How’d Northwestern score fifty fouuuuuur?)
Inevitably, you’ll bring up the past, and boast of National Championships won 40 years before you were born
(those were the daaaaaays!)
You will point out that you have more wins than any other program as though that is relevant to the current season
(been playing since the 1870s!)
Go on, ignore that home loss to your arch rivals in the regular season finale and continue to believe that you’ll defeat your bowl opponent with striking ease
(we’ll win by thirteeeeeeey!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don’t finish in the top 25, you’ll be back to number three when the preseason polls come out next year (Mr. Delusional Michigan Fan!)
Check out this story……
I bet Rex is just as tall as Ron!!!!!!
GO CUBS GO! Talk about a good old fashioned ass whooping!
Cubs Pitching. Ted Lily notched 7 strike-outs and only allowed 3 runs in 7 innings of work. Wuertz and Bobby Howry each pitched a scoreless inning to finish up the Cubs victory!
Cubs Hitting. Lee (18) and Ramirez (22) each homered and Jones went 3-4 with 2 RBI’s. Craig Monroe added 2 runs in his pitch hit appearance. Great hitting today, and frankly, it’s about time the Cubbies got there bats into the game!
Bearded Bears in Attendance. A few of the Bearded Bears were in attendance today and enjoyed the Cubs crushing the Cardinals. In particular, I’d like to see how Brad Patterson is doing today with two losses today. First, his beloved Cardinals were slaughtered by the Cubs, and then, the Cameltoes were SHOCKED by F*ck Keyshawn in a stunning upset!
While I was over at Gayle Fidler’s house I happened to notice this old pic of one of the Fidler boys…………
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In a SHOCKING development on Augst 22, 2007 at approximately 8:34 PM CST, PREIST HOLMES was released from Team Flem – preasason favorite in the 85 Bears fantasy league. No one can recall the 24th overall pick being dropped BEFORE the season started.
Priest had no comment other he felt the photoshop wheelchair picture wasn’t fair and requested a closed door meeting with owner Flem-meister. Priest was released shortly after this meeting and seen doing donut’s in his wheelchair on the Cheifs logo on the 50 yard line.
At this time, it is unclear if Priest will be claimed off the waiver. The team with the highest waiver ranking, F*ck Keyshawn had no comment when we caught up to him at Whitey’s Tip-Top Tavern late Wednesday night.
F*ck Keyshawn’s owner was engaged in a high-stakes shuffle board game, and delcined to comment. F*ck Keyshawn said only that they would seriously consider making Priest a part of their elite squad …… NOT! The owner then did a shot of Pepermint Schnapps and was back to the shuffle board screaming…
“…YOURE WRONG DUDE…!”